How Does It Feel

How does it feel; when you’ve got to wait for so long just say something?

How does it feel; all the waiting is only to tell somebody else what’s been on your mind for all this time?

Hello, dear you.

Today three hours ago, last year. It’s when you were playing the role as my brother (yes, I will always thought you as my dear brother, the wise one). You told me something fuss you claimed it’s not particularly important. You said that I, yes—to recall your memory—me frighten(ed?) you, eventually.

From that moment, there are so many things inside my head circling just to hear (read, yeah) that simple sentence you’ve said. Questions keep me busy, keep me awake since then. I was petty perplexed. I wanted to ask you those questions, wanting their answers to flee on the sky, to be heard, to be accepted by my ears, my head and feed my curious.

But I decided to wait.

Now, today, 31.536.003 hours after you sent me that message, I want to ask you some question.

What’s making (made?) you afraid of me? What’s exactly does (did) that? My thoughts? My demeanors? Am I still scaring you?

And, if only I’m still scaring you in some way, are you, able to fight that fear you face all the year round?

You know, I’ve been waiting for about a year and three hours to be able to. Please, tell me, honestly.

Or else, tell me that I should wait for a year more. Years more? I don’t believe myself be able to take the strains. You know—wonder never cease.

Ah, I’m sorry for another fuss I made. And, I’m very sorry that I might be scare you with this silly writing of what’s intrude my mind.

“Hei... Mau tau hal kecil yg gak terlalu penting menurutku tentang kamu gak?

kadang-kadang…

kamu membuatku takut… lho”